so my plan for halloween is to dress up as a Nazgul with my black horse and go trick or treating but instead of saying “trick or treat” i’ll either scream or hiss “Bagginssssssssss, Shhhhhhhire” and then ransack their villages in my search for the One Ring
i was joking
oh dear god
HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU TERRORIZE
You are My handful kitten……
my type of public transportation
“Why were you late in today?”
“Oh, I got tied up on the subway…”
I was always 50/50 on whether to reblog this but the last comment pushed it to like 95/5 in favor.
"What’s our stop?"
"You’ll get off when I tell you to."
Holding her hips as you pull her back onto Your hard cock… :-)
"Oh my GOD Carl I am so done with you.”
I want to be the last person who ever kisses you… That sounds bad, like a death threat or something. What I’m trying to say is, you’re it. This is it for me.
my mom told me that in high school she used to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad
cute ass flower questions
- Daisy: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
- Carnation: If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer?
- Jasmine: What color looks best on you?
- Foxglove: Name three facts about your family.
- Allium: What's the best thing you can cook?
- Orange Blossom: If you could pick the gender and appearance of your child, would you?
- Calla Lily: If you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral?
- Poinsettia: Favorite holiday dish?
- Oxlip: Would you ever get into a long distance relationship?
- Primrose: Favorite kind of soup?
- Daffodil: What's the most thoughtful present you've ever received?
- Rose: Are you currently in love with someone?
- Amsonia: Would you ever become a vegan?
- Peony: What's your favorite hot beverage?
- Tulip: For your birthday, what kind of cake do you ask for?
- Myrtle: Do you like going on airplanes?
- Hibiscus: Did you ever play an instrument? If so what?
- Zinnia: Who was your best friend when you were six years old?
- Poppy: What color was your childhood home?
- Hydrangea: Starbucks order?
- Violet: Do you like where you're from?
- Locust: What was your favorite book as a child?
- Rhododendron: What's the scariest dream you've ever had?
- Queen Anne's Lace: Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents?
- Magnolia: Favorite kind of candy?
- Aster: Would you rather be cold or hot?
- Marigold: Do you listen to what's on the radio?
- Heliconia: Do you like when it rains?
- Azalea: What's a movie you cried while watching?
- Dandelion: Do you think you're important?
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